‘On the couch’ with Jasminda

DEAR Jasminda,

A mutual friend often offers me job opportunities during social gatherings, but doesn’t mention the subject again until the next time we catch up. Should I take these offers seriously and seek further information, or brush them off?

Katie L.

Dear Katie,

Social situations often involve social lubricants. Is your mutual friend half-tanked when these job opportunities are discussed? Are you?

I’d be wary about any work discussions that take place after multiple rounds of drinks.

In these situations, the mutual friend may be drawn to talents that don’t translate to employability skills in the cold light of day.

Does he for example say, ‘you’d be an asset to the workplace’, as you’re shouting, ‘I reckon I have another Mojito in

me’. Then, ‘let’s run home; it’s only five kilometres’?’

This declaration may scream “Ricky Resilience” when your mutual friend is sloshed, but with a fresh mind, he may instead view you as someone who over-promises and under-delivers (particularly if you have to call an Uber at the halfway mark). Does he ask about your career aspirations after you’ve performed a rousing acapella version of Aerosmith’s Dream On at the monthly Open Mic night?

Again, this self assurance is impressive, but your performative skills may irritate other staff in the open plan office. Alternatively, could he simply be waiting for you to show the same initiative you showed when you encouraged everyone to join in on a Nutbush City Limits dance-off and call him.

In future, ask him to clarify the specifics (including the next stage of the process).

Or, when the evening has reached its inevitable loosey-goosey stage, you could record him reciting the job opportunity

(with permission, of course).

When you play the offer back the next day, you may decide that you don’t want the position after all.

Carpe diem,
Jasminda.